A Straight-Talking Survival Guide from One Single Person to Another
After my last article titled, “tales from crypto” I had a reader contact me privately and ask why I decided to share the living nightmare that I went through for years because of an emotional compromise state, along with loneliness, desperation, and trying to seek validation and approval. I gave so many details to that article because , as I emerged from the effects of what I went through, I came out of this as a proverbial “sheepdog“ who wanted to protect unsuspecting men and women from romance, scams and cryptocurrency scams and fraudulent activities. There are some things that I will never write about that I did financially that I will never be proud of or even possibly being willing to admit in the future. I guess that the phrase “desperate people have desperate ways“ has a significance in my story. Now, please keep in mind that I survived a long series of “ romance disasters “ and what I believe well over 90% of people would think was hopeless, and if in my shoes, would end their life prematurely over, or otherwise harm themselves, coping by getting involved in addition to hard drugs, prostitution or other highly risky sexual behavior, or otherwise “sell their soul” just to cope. In fact, I’m going to go a step further here, although this might be as hard to read as it is for me to write it, based on statistical data, I researched, I think that I can safely argue that 85% of average people couldn’t have made it through and would’ve ended up with their brains, splattered on the floor ceiling and walls.
I know you probably didn’t expect to read what I just wrote above, but I have experience and dealing with fake dating profiles, cyber security, financial scams, and lots of other things that go on in the digital dating world the most people would never wish on their worst enemy.
I’m here to protect anyone who may potentially fall for fake dating profiles and how to “flesh out“ the truth. I’m not trying to gain any fame or influence here, I am writing articles like this because I believe part of my purpose is to protect unsuspecting potential victims from being abused, emotionally, financially, physically, or spiritually. As your guide, I am here to protect you, and you may learn a few things that you didn’t know that you can teach other people in your life as well.
I am here as a survivor and former victim of the evil in the world that is ironically, based on an attraction to a person and either isn’t real, trying to catfish you, doesn’t live in this country, or wants to scam you out of every last time you have like a parasite or succubus.
Whether you’re freshly single, a seasoned veteran of the dating trenches, or just dipping your toe back in the romantic waters after years away, one thing remains true — dating can be a minefield.
As a fellow single person, I’ve seen enough to know that while love might be blind, you don’t have to be. And honestly? In today’s dating world — where catfishing, ghosting, and the occasional “surprise spouse” still happen — keeping your eyes open is your best defense against turning a promising date into a full-blown disaster.
So, whether you’re 25 or 65, here’s your guide to dating smart, steering clear of red flags, and maybe even having a little fun along the way.
1. Don’t Skip the Recon — It’s Not Creeping, It’s Smart
Before you meet someone in person, take advantage of the miracle of modern technology. No, I’m not saying turn into a private investigator with night vision goggles — but a quick look at their social media can save you hours of wasted time and potential awkwardness.
✔️ Do their stories add up?
✔️ Are their pictures recent… or from 15 years and 30 pounds ago?
✔️ Are they posting nothing but gym selfies and inspirational quotes? Proceed with caution.
Remember: what people choose to show you online says a lot — and what they avoid showing you says even more.
2. Meet in Public — Always
This one feels obvious, but you’d be surprised how often it’s ignored. First dates (heck, even second and third) should always happen somewhere public, well-lit, and where your exits are clear.
Coffee shops, casual restaurants, group events — all good options. Someone who pressures you to meet at their place or “Netflix and chill” before you even know their last name? Big, bold, neon-red flag.
3. Communicate Like a Grown-Up (Even If They Don’t)
Ghosting, breadcrumbing, the infamous “slow fade” — these all happen when people avoid direct communication. Be better than that.
✔️ If you’re not feeling it after a date? Say so, kindly.
✔️ If you are feeling it? Say that too — no games required.
✔️ If they can’t handle grown-up conversations? Consider that your green light to move on.
Dating is already complicated — honesty makes it less so.
4. Trust Your Gut — It’s There for a Reason
Ever get that uneasy feeling that something’s… off? Maybe they say all the right things, but your intuition is tapping you on the shoulder, whispering, “Run.”
Listen to it. Every time I’ve ignored that little internal voice, I’ve regretted it. Your gut may not be able to predict the future, but it sure is good at spotting red flags your brain tries to reason away.
5. Don’t Ignore the Basics: Safety First
It may sound old-school, but simple safety precautions still apply:
✔️ Let a friend know where you’re going and with whom.
✔️ Share your location (most smartphones make this easy).
✔️ Drive yourself or have an independent ride home.
✔️ Keep your drink within sight — every time.
Your safety isn’t up for negotiation, no matter how charming your date seems.
6. Know What You Want — And Don’t Settle
A huge part of avoiding dating disasters is being crystal clear with yourself:
✔️ Are you looking for a relationship? Casual fun? Just curious?
✔️ Are your deal-breakers firm… or flexible?
✔️ Are you ready — emotionally, mentally, logistically — to date?
Getting honest with yourself before you get honest with someone else saves everyone time, energy, and awkward explanations.
7. Don’t Let the Bad Dates Break You
Here’s the truth no one tells you: even with all the preparation, some dates will still be weird, disappointing, or downright cringe-worthy. That doesn’t mean you are the problem.
Bad dates happen to good people. Laugh about them, learn from them, and keep moving forward. Love — or at least some decent company — tends to show up when you keep showing up.
Final Thoughts: Dating Doesn’t Have to Be a Disaster
Dating can be fun. It can also be frustrating, confusing, and occasionally absurd — but it doesn’t have to be dangerous, draining, or disastrous.
As someone who’s been there (more times than I’d like to admit), I promise — a little preparation, a healthy sense of humor, and listening to your instincts can save you a lot of time, heartache, and weird coffee shop escapes.
So get out there, be smart, stay safe — and remember: the right person won’t make you feel like you’re dating with disaster looming around every corner. They’ll feel like coming home — no drama required.
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